Vacation Must Do's

8 minutes reading time

2018 was a big year! We celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary, my husband's 40th birthday, and our only child moved to New York to finish her undergrad. You know what that means… YUP we were going to be empty nesting mother fuckers....  

So, how to celebrate? We planned a vacation to celebrate each moment. Today's blog is a recap of where we went and (of course) vacation tips and tricks to keep it spicy. Yes, even when you're vacationing with friends and the kiddos. If you want more naughty details on each vacation (I know you do), check out my other blogs for the full play-by-play.

DISCLAIMER: Before you continue indulging in my memoir, if you are prude or uptight, then stop reading this; go back to cleaning your house while tending to your crying Ivy League prodigies. Actually, just don't read any of my blogs because you will not like them, or worse, you will. But for those of you who read my blogs on the regular, call me, because we should be friends. 

Vacation 1:  Topless in the Bahamas

Stunning beaches have marked many significant occasions for my husband and me. After meeting online, our first date was on a beach in Kauai. We got engaged on a private boat going to Boracay , Philippines, and married on a cliff on Maui. And when we got married, we promised each other we would renew our wedding vows every 10 years on a beach in a new destination around the world. Since we were celebrating our 10-year, we wanted to renew our vows on the beaches of  St. John's in the Virgin Islands, and to make our vow renewal even more special, we wanted it to take place on New Year's Eve. Our timeshare provided plenty of options to choose from! To really turn it into a party, we decided to surprise our 19-year-old daughter with tickets for her and her best friend.  

A few months out from our trip, the countdown began. We were all so excited, and then - devastation happened. The horrific Hurricane Irma hit St. John and completely destroyed the beautiful islands. Our hearts broke for all of the stranded locals and tourists on the islands. And to top it off, we were left with no choice but to cancel our reservation. With the help of one of the amazing  Starwood  managers, JoJo, we were able to move our entire group to Atlantis in the Bahamas in a private villa. We were so grateful for JoJo and her team in this move, and quickly adjusted to our new exciting plans.

It was too late to find someone to renew our vows on the beach, so my husband and I decided to go a different route. Instead of renewing our vows every 10 years, we would take very intimate photos to constantly remind us of our spark and embrace 10 years of our strong sexual attraction. Luckily, my daughter knew exactly what I wanted to direct us into the poses. Yes, my daughter reads all of my sex blogs too. I am that kind of mom, get over it.  Ladies and gents: no matter where you're vacationing, find a secret spot, take your tops off, and jump on your partner (and if possible, find someone to snap some photos). Feeling a little shy? Remind yourself that they're titties and over 50% of the global population has them.

Over the years, our bodies will change and guess what? Your partner's body will change alongside of yours. Love every ounce of your partner as you grow old together. This photo ended up being our favorite photo from the shoot. We printed it on a 24x36 metal canvas and hung it next to our bed so we can see it every single day to remember our wedding vows, our promise to always explore our physical chemistry, and the beautiful memories we made on the trip. 

Vacation 2: Bending over in Vegas

Turning 40 only comes around ONCE in your lifetime, and for my lover's big 4-0, he had his heart set on Vegas. Every 10 years, I have been fulfilling one of his fantasies, so this year I wanted to do something very special. He has been begging me every time we are on the plane to join the  Mile High Club . So far, I had refused his not-so-subtle invitations. Well, it was his 40th and we were going to Vegas - is there anywhere better suited for this momentous occasion than Vegas? I think not!

With a little help from the girls in my (women-only)  Facebook  group, I found a match made in heaven:  The Love Cloud . If you're wondering if the purpose of this company's business is allowing couples to fulfill their fantasies and join the Mile high Club on a private plane, then BINGO you're right. We had an amazing experience - for the rest of the story on how we officially joined The Club,  click here  for the glorious details.

Vacation 3: Lava Rock Pleasures

Our long-awaited Bahamas trip eventually came to an end. As we were sitting in the Bahamas airport, the loud speaker announced our flight was overbooked and they were looking for volunteers to fly out the next day. We couldn't run fast enough; tripping over kids, knocking down luggage, and hauling ass, our group jumped all over that opportunity. The airline gave each of us a $1,000 flight voucher and a free night in an all-inclusive resort in the Bahamas just for leaving the next day. While guzzling down unlimited alcohol and sushi that evening, we all thought about where we wanted to use the voucher. Europe, Asia, Tropics???  The world was ours.

I told my husband not to worry about our next vacation because I was going to plan it.  I knew he likes the beach and relaxation so I planned out next vacation to Maui and Kauai. This time around, we did NOT invite the kiddos. This was our first vacation as empty nesters. Our daughter had just started her first semester at Columbia University, so damn it, we were going to celebrate!  Even though we went there alone, my entire family lives on the islands so we had to make our rounds in visiting them all.

Since we took sexy photos in the Bahamas, I wanted to take more sexy photos of us in Hawaii. And since I take beautiful portraits of couples all day long, who better to take these photos than a professional photographer who specializes in boudoir?! (Yes, I'm talking about me.) As a Hawaiian native, I was positively giddy planning the shoot. I decided to take our photos under a beautiful waterfall and on the beach at sunset. 

Being on Maui and Kauai brought back so many beautiful and kinky memories of when we first met.  Even though my husband and I met on the internet, we officially met when he flew to Kauai to meet me in person.  There are so many fun things to do on the islands, even if you do nothing at all.  I'm very adventurous and my husband likes to relax so we make sure that we always do what pleases us both.  For example, the only way to relax in certain lava pools at Queen's Bath which over look the ocean was to jump off the tall lava rocks into the pools. Queen's Bath has some of the most beautiful clear lava pools on all of the islands.  Win Win.  

Vacation 4: Vibrating Panties in Vail

The fun wasn't over yet! We still had some time leftover from our  timeshare  and we couldn't roll it over, so we decided to book a last-minute flight to Vail, Colorado and go skiing. This time, NO ONE was invited to join us. My husband and I haven't been on a real vacation with just the two of us since 2009 (!) and it was long overdue. We stayed at the  Westin Riverfront and loved everything about it. A gondola came right to the resort and transported us to the top of the mountain every day to ski Beaver Creek. Every night we enjoyed lots of alcohol in the infinity Jacuzzi tub and went for long walks on the frozen rivers in front of the resort. It was our first time skiing in over 20 years, so we took one day of ski lessons and then the rest of the time we acted like pros. Okay, acting is putting it lightly. We loved it so much that we booked 2019 vacation before we left the resort. 

On this vacation, we wanted to focus on the two of us. Before we left Nashville, I ran over to Hustler and bought vibrating panties . My dumb ass thought it would be fun to wear the vibrating panties while skiing. Long story short: ladies, don't give your husband control of the remote when skiing. Let's just say, my husband's payback is in the future and karma is a bitch. For more details on how that turned out, check out my adventurous blog.  

For other fun wintry activity tips: we had planned on making perverted snowmen like we did in Nevada one year, but ran out of time. On that trip, we created a couple snowy, scandalous scenes. We went to the store to buy everything we needed - carrots, broccoli, halved grapefruit, etc. (I'll let your imagination complete the produce picture). We started with a classic: the snow-woman on her knees giving the snowman head. And of course, our snowman had to return the favor, so our second scene portrayed the snow-woman on her back with her legs spread open while the snowman gave her head. It was all fun and games until a family with young children walked by.

So how were we able to vacation as much as we did and in large enough villas for our friends and family to join us at no additional cost? Buying our  timeshare over 13 years ago and forcing ourselves to use it in the way it was intended. I know, shocker, we are the few that LOVE our timeshare and actually use it.  

2018 was a fantastic year for me and my husband as a couple. We were able to celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss with our friends and family all over the globe. Travel has a special way of bringing people together - you bond through the lows of flight delays and the highs of a perfect beach sunset or a successful day on the slopes. We were so lucky to have so many opportunities to travel and continue to explore our relationship - we can't wait for what's ahead!

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